how can you tell the rivers are open?

spoonman · Post by **spoonman** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 4:18 am

H e y. Y o u g u y s , q u I t j a c k I n g m y t h r e a d . I m t a k I n g a d v I c e a n d t y p I n g s l o w e r s o y o u k n o w I m j o k I n g .

returnofthefish · Post by **returnofthefish** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 6:40 am

And it all started out as a joke haha

spoonman · Post by **spoonman** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:41 am

I ain't trying to pee in anyone's cheerios, I just enjoy fishing and enjoy talking about fishing. Now I know how dane cook must feel, I think I'm funny as hell, but no one else seems to.

Post by **Bodofish** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:58 am

spoonman wrote:I ain't trying to pee in anyone's cheerios, I just enjoy fishing and enjoy talking about fishing. Now I know how dane cook must feel, I think I'm funny as hell, but no one else seems to.

Hey, Spoonman. I'm just a crabby @$$ sometimes, gold star for effort on the humor!

I think you just picked a really tough subject, so many people ask the exact same question over and over, every year. For me and I'm sure AMX too, the answer was more of a knee jerk reaction.
A couple tips on written humor that I've learned from a lifetime of bent humor and miss communication.
First, tell your audience you're going to tell a joke, a forum isn't open mic night at the comedy club. Most of us are pretty thick, I've been beat down for the same thing, hand it to us on a platter.
Next and probably the most important. Don't write like you would speak. Two different languages. Think back to that English class you hated. I know, it brings back bad memories for me too. Always restate your proposition. Then don't start your sentence, especially the punch line with a conjunction (because).

Example:
How can you tell the rivers are open?
You can tell because, my browser history.....

Now see, three little words. Jokes and humor are a very tough sell because they're totally subjective. You really have to serve them up on a platter and hold everyone's hand all the way through. Don't let it deter you. Rock us with another one, or ten.

Don Rickles, told me the key to learning to telling jokes was to tell the joke to ten people, by the time you've told it ten times, you've got the basics pretty much worked out, now fine tune it.

Post by **Amx** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:03 am

Yup.

Post by **Steelheadin360** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:16 am

I dont even say the "f" word around my wife. I just tell her im leaving in the morning and will be back when I run outta food or beer.

gfakkema · Post by **gfakkema** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:37 am

spoonman · Post by **spoonman** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:48 am

Absolutely right bodo, sometimes stuff translates poorly through a computer screen.

slupot · Post by **slupot** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 3:22 pm

I have 6 tabs open open my browser. 7 of them have to do with fishing and or river levels :-)

FishBaitThe2nd · Post by **FishBaitThe2nd** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 4:55 pm

gfakkema wrote:
BlakeP wrote:
gfakkema wrote: I too am SICK of little kids asking questions. If you have questions, search previous threads or type it into google. If you still can't figure it out, then start a new thread. No need to thread jack to ask how to float fish. **Okay, off soap box!** I got the joke too though, although it might have taken me a second longer than some.
Just wondering, why only "Little kids"? I've seen plenty of adults do the same exact thing. Not trying to get into an argument, as I see the point too and don't agree with thread jacking. But a lot of people do it. Not just children.

Anyway, I too got the joke, and I wasn't planning on posting in the thread, but just wanted to at least mention that there are more than just kids who do the same thing and thread jack.

To answer your question... There are 3 users (aka "little kids") that are notorius for asking silly questions, like how to rig a float set-up, what strength leader do you use, etc. in forums that have almost nothing to do with what they are asking (i.e. opening day pic thread). They do it time and again and it just gets a little frustrating. I am all for asking questions, but do some simple research first before thread jacking or asking needless questions. If you look in the video section or do a simple forum search you are bound to get more info than one could ever need or use. Many times, a simple google search is all that is necessary.

quote]

You can consider me a "little kid" if you want, its obvious that the 'little kid' your talking about is me cause I asked about float set ups and leaders In the opening pic thread. I apologized for high jacking the thread, and it was done then and there. Theres no need to bring it back up in this thread, so therefore- your hi-jacking this thread by saying how sick you are of 3 little kids that ask questions, apparently over an overagain. I can almost guarantee when you were a "little kid" you didn't know nearly as much about fishing as you do now. Im sure you learned more about fishing, by asking questions, watching, and experimenting. Im 15 years old, and ive caughten many kings, silvers, kings, pink, and chum. Steelhead im still learning, and if I have a question ill be sure to ask it. Next time, ill start a new thread, even if its been asked 20 times by other people in previous threads. I see many big kids ask questions too, some times more than little kids too. The other day I had a family come up to me at whole sale sports and asked me to help them with the basics for trout fishing. I described knots to them, how to tie up there set up, where to fish, and what bait to use. Big kids need help sometimes too

Have a good day sir.

Spoonman, sorry about continuing this. Also Spoonman, I got your joke the first time and thought it was pretty funny.

spoonman · Post by **spoonman** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:40 pm

The good news is, there seem to be a lot of people on here that are willing to help. For instance nates new thread about summer tips. Being he makes his living helping folks catch fish he neednt devulge any info. I had to learn most that I know the hard way. My dad instilled a love of fishing in me then split

. I may not be as accomplished as some of these guys on here but will always help when asked advice. It may not be the best advice but hey, beggars can't be

chosers right?

EAmon ___hoffman123 · Post by **EAmon ___hoffman123** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:36 pm

Wait what is a river? whats a salmon? is a salmon a green looking thing that has a large mouth

FishBaitThe2nd · Post by **FishBaitThe2nd** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:41 pm

EAmon ___hoffman123 wrote:Wait what is a river? whats a salmon? is a salmon a green looking thing that has a large mouth

I think that's a tuna!

gfakkema · Post by **gfakkema** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:03 pm

Brat Bonker · Post by **Brat Bonker** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:05 pm

you said kings twice fishbait.
personally I think asking silly questions isn't stupid because not only do I ask pretty dumb questions sometimes but that is what a forum is for right?

chrome_chasin · Post by **chrome_chasin** » Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:52 am

gfakkema wrote:
fear_no_fish wrote:With the amount of 1 or 2 time posters, and little kids making new threads over and over asking how to fish the same meat hole. It doesnt surprise me no one got the joke..
I too am SICK of little kids asking questions. If you have questions, search previous threads or type it into google. If you still can't figure it out, then start a new thread. No need to thread jack to ask how to float fish. **Okay, off soap box!** I got the joke too though, although it might have taken me a second longer than some.

To learn something you have to research- thats my obvious statement of the day. But people learn differently. I myself am a kinesthetic learner, meaning I take a hands on approach to learn, I would fail if just reading it from a book. Need to see it, then do it, meaning I ask a ton of questions. Some learn by reading, some learn by asking. To share knowledge is teaching. Some teach by sharing the knowledge they have most teach by pointing their finger to the library.

As for the joke, my wife was not pleased with my last trip to sportsman's and less happy when she came home the other day and saw my work bench, or rather her recently retired desk.

Post by **dutchman2858** » Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:13 am

Okay...I'm changing the channel now...

natetreat · Post by **natetreat** » Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:29 am

I always tell my clients there are no stupid questions. If you don't ask a question that to the experienced angler are self explanatory, you end up making the mistakes that keep you from catching fish. The nature of this forum is that a lot of posts get buried, and the search functionality is less than stellar. That makes it sort of difficult to sort through the archives to find what you want. I know how tough it is to teach yourself to fish, and I let the repeat threads slide because that's just how it goes. Sure this website is for folks to talk and share about fishing, and off topic posts kind of sidetrack discussions, but it's an online forum - Why so serious!

chrome_chasin · Post by **chrome_chasin** » Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:34 am

natetreat wrote:I always tell my clients there are no stupid questions. If you don't ask a question that to the experienced angler are self explanatory, you end up making the mistakes that keep you from catching fish. The nature of this forum is that a lot of posts get buried, and the search functionality is less than stellar. That makes it sort of difficult to sort through the archives to find what you want. I know how tough it is to teach yourself to fish, and I let the repeat threads slide because that's just how it goes. Sure this website is for folks to talk and share about fishing, and off topic posts kind of sidetrack discussions, but it's an online forum - Why so serious!

I am stealing that pic.

natetreat · Post by **natetreat** » Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:44 am

And this one too -

Northwest Fishing Reports

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