Hump Day Humor

[racfish]

Subject: Rules of Engagement



Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a '4.'
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL's Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask 'What is a gunfight?'
5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.


US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines

My intentions is not to make fun of our Elite fighting forces. this is just humor. If it makes you smile then bravo!!!!

[fishslayer80]

smile smile smile

[Amx]

I'm NOT smiling!



I'm LAUGHING! [img=http://board.moparts.org/ubbthreads/ima ... s/haha.gif]f[/img]

[knotabassturd]

[lol] [lol] [lol] I know someone that will definitely appreciate that one.

[BentRod]

[lol]

[G-Man]

I find this quite funny because there is so much truth to it.

I still remember my drill instructor telling us that there is no such thing as a fair fight and that our duty is not to die for our country but to make sure the other guy dies for his.

OORAH!

[Ocktane]

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines

Just entering my 9th year in the Navy... I couldn't agree more!

[Bodofish]

I go withthe Navy! Best program by far!

[Marc Martyn]

When things get tough, who you gonna call....... I loved working on those things.

[racfish]

I've done alot of contract work for the Coast Guard and Navy. I know one thing for sure. On the water the food is the best. When doing the Midgett for the CG I put on a few pounds. Between the sticky buns and lasagna I was in food heaven.